Journal 1- Tuesday, October 13th, 2020
So how am i doing today?
I’m doing well and I’ve decided that this will be a new section of my blog- Journaling. Now, I can’t promise a new entry everyday but I think this will be a good jumping off point for me to actually put my thoughts down and for those interested, maybe you ll be able to get a glimpse of how my mind processes information, plus it’ll be a nice way for me talk/discuss things that have just been gnawing at me.
So let’s begin, my daughter Delia is currently napping and today we had a learning moment for both of us, I hope the lesson sticks for both of us but she is the child and I’m the adult, I need to show her the best ways to handle conflicts and emotion. The story is- I was putting in an online order for groceries and at the payment step i was getting a bit flustered as it kept saying “an error has occurred while attempting to process payment”, it was my husband’s card information, and as my frustration was growing Delia decided she wanted to be on my lap. The problem is when she’s in my lap I put my phone down to pay priority attention to her but at this time I felt I could not give her priority attention. I know, I did not prioritize correctly, but she took it in stride the first 3 or so times I told her no lap, I’m doing something but she’s only a baby and her frustration grew to her having a fit/meltdown with her crying at me and pulling on my shirt trying to get onto my lap. Meanwhile, I was messaging husband about the issue and so he was able to log into the grocery stores account for us and he figured it out (the card expiration date needed to be typed in as mm/yyyy not mm/yy).
I then put my phone down, sat on the floor with Delia then allowed her onto my lap, she began to stuck her thumb to sooth herself and we started watching a cartoon short, I then apologized to her as we watched TV. I explained to her that i was getting frustrated with the grocery app and that I’m sorry, I should have explained myself better to her and that we both need to give each other patience and grace. I was sorry that I hurt her feelings but for her to also give me some patience, that we both need understanding and patience. I know, she’s only one but this is a step for both of us, as she gets older not only do I need to continually communicate with her, she needs to learn to communicate with me and we need to always have an open dialogue with each other and everyone about what we might be going through. It was a tough lesson but i also continue to grow and I want her to learn how important communication is, that all feelings are valid, and that it is okay to say you’re sorry when you’ve made a mistake.